My Sea Change Experience (MIF 2021)

 

The Beginning of Something New

I heard about Sea Change through Reform Radio and afterwards I spent five minutes having an internal battle with myself, pros and cons, overthinking.  I’m a shy person who doesn’t like the spotlight (something that doesn’t fit with my aspirations to become a singer), but I love dancing, I’m not in the best shape and have zero experience…will it be COVID safe (yes). The argument that won me over was simply: a chance like this may never come again; I have nothing to lose and so much to gain. It was my chance to be a part of my city, to represent it and to do so with other people who call Manchester home. Sea Change would be launching Manchester International Festival 21 plus it was on my 30^th birthday. I was slightly anxious because, like everyone else, I hadn’t gathered with a crowd for more than a year and a half and my brain had been reprogrammed to stay away from them during that time. I wasn’t sure how I’d be but all of those fears were assuaged when I arrived on our welcome and introduction day at The AO (formally Manchester) Arena.

 Everyone from security, social distance marshals, COVID testing staff, and production and management were so kind and excited, which eradicated all of my anxieties immediately. After taking my lateral flow test and waiting for the negative test results, I went through the bag checkpoint, then I set foot for the first time in the arena.

 The arena and the people of Manchester have been through so much and I needed a moment to compose myself when I stood in the centre of the arena and looked around. I saw people of different ages, races, height, sizes and ages I felt as if I’d stepped into a beautiful kaleidoscope of humanity. There were people who, like me, had come to Manchester from different parts of the world.

 There was so much electricity in the air as we all started to arrive. We’d received participation packs about what we would be doing but still had no idea what to expect. Once everyone had arrived and found a socially distanced chair and box to put their belongings it all started.

 Boris Charmatz, the choreographer, and his entire team were so playful and energetic that it still boggles my mind that I ever had a doubt about participating. We were told to listen to our bodies, know what our limits are and give as much as we were able to…..which meant every single one of us pushed ourselves as far as we could go.

  All of the participants were sorted into 6 groups of more than 20 people each and each group worked with an individual dancer on their 10 specific moments that lasted about a minute each with ended with us running to our next spot and doing the next movement.  We were told to find our own individual style in the movements, play with them, make them our own while at the same time bring the speed, precision or energy that Boris was trying to evoke. Boris created the piece after being inspired by the work of Edwardian photographer Eadweard Muybridge, who took multiple photographs capturing people in motion, which when fused together created the impression of movement; essentially an early example of a human flipbook.

 

 

Movements and Moments

 That day (and the following interspaced days of rehearsals) started and ended with a warm up exercise, rehearsing our ten sets of movements as individual groups then a break, practice all together and then a cool down stretch.

I got to know the other members of my group (from a distance), and recognize other participants, festival organisers and volunteers as we progressed with rehearsal. The first movement of the piece is a backward countdown of a specific set of numbers while doing improvised moves. I was relieved to learn that I wasn’t the only one who struggled to remember how to count backwards in the moment (it’s easier said than done, especially while moving at the same time) but eventually we all got there. At one point the countdown found its way into my dreams at night. The sixth movement in our group was protest and so for the first time in my life I got the opportunity to shout about things that mattered to me. As a black woman whose come from the US, it’s strangely surreal to see some people lying on the ground, hands behind their back, stage whispering over the music and noise, “I Can’t Breathe.”

 The hardest part for me was not the running, or shouting, but the seventh movement, which was love, specifically, sensuality. When Boris had first explained the segment on our first day he’d made a love heart in the air, I realise now it was to not scare the living daylights out of us all on the first day. The next rehearsal he explained it was making love and if we wanted to close our eyes and not look at anyone we could do, essentially, as he eloquently put it “turn out the lights and do it.” His humour is one of the many things that made the entire experience so enjoyable. To enact lovemaking to a large group of passing strangers was exhilarating, slightly mortifying but also initially terrifying for me. But since we didn’t have to make eye contact if we didn’t want to I was fine. During rehearsals we got to see other groups take on their movements and seeing other people’s interpretation of love gave me a lot of confidence towards the performance of my own. I don’t think of myself as a sensual or sexy person at all, but after finding my inner stripper I found I could do the movement without laughing. That changed slightly when we left the cocoon of the AO Arena and emerged on Deansgate for our rehearsals.

For our first one (which was still open for pedestrians and cyclists) the Euro 2020 match was taking place (Germany vs England), and so towards the end of our evening we had to deal with a couple of drunks trying to get involved with the performance. The ninth movement is called Reach Out, and we lie down and reach out, so obviously some took it as an invitation. There were a few laughs and hollering during love, but mostly it was getting used to people filming as well as moving on the surface of the street (the arena is smoothly concreted, Deansgate, not so much). Security was on top of it all making sure we were all safe but you will always get people who won’t appreciate art and make a comical farce out of it maybe because they don’t feel or understand what they’re looking at. The hollers threw me off for a moment but I just took it and used it. Gaining the energy from the passers-by kept me going.

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 Over the last week or so I’ve watched people grow, laugh, play and express their pain, anger, joy and frustration about the pandemic, and life in general, through this piece. For many this has been the first opportunity for them to do so. It’s a breath-taking thing to see. As a participant this experience embodies why I chose Manchester to be my home. It’s fun, whimsical, diverse, visceral, loud, eclectic, cultural and beautiful. I’m not sure if I’m more grateful for the opportunity to represent my city or the fact that I’m a part of bringing another artist’s vision to life.

This project is not only a celebration of how art connects us to people around the world, it’s also a way to honour the people we’ve lost by giving every moment 110%. It’s a way of reminding people that Manchester will always be strong because we’ve got each other, that even from a distance it’s still possible to create art. It’s also a big middle finger to this virus, to a year and a half of despair, loss, displacement and fear. It’s a call to wake up and remind people that life is scary, tiring, challenging, beautiful, confusing but most of all fun.

 This project encompasses a lot of people, from Boris Charmatz and his team, the emergency responders on hand just in case, designers, the technical team, the COVID safety team, stage and production managers (who kept us all safely organized) to liaisons and managers of MIF. None of this would have been possible without them and one of the many things I loved so much was seeing everyone’s enthusiasm and excitement (organizers and participants alike). I realize that there may have been tough moments throughout someone’s day (or week), times when they may have felt low or exhausted too but they hid it all so well if they had. I admire and respect that greatly. Not everyone is fortunate to do something they love but I felt as is the entire project is a labour of passion and love and I’m so grateful to be a part of that.

 

Part Three: The Final Countdown

Performance day was extremely emotional not just because it was my birthday but because I’d gained so much during the last nine days of physically being there. After everyone had arrived and the speeches were done everyone sang me Happy Birthday, and yes, I did tear up. I’ve never had more than 150 people be with me on my birthday before and we were all connected because of this incredible experience.

 One of the participants, Ceri, from a different group to mine, took the moment to make a speech on all of our behalves, thanking Boris, his team (who were teaching us our various movements in each group), the technical and management teams, an everyone at MIF for making Sea Change a fun and safe experience, and letting them know that we were all taking something monumental away with us after having been a part of it.  I don’t know how I managed to keep it together after her touching speech but somehow I did.

We had the opportunity to relax and then headed out for our final warmup (another teary moment for me) and then rehearsal of the movements (seeing us all in sync was breath-taking) then a break and before I knew it was show time. I have no idea how many circuits I did but all I know is that it was one of the most invigorating experiences of my life. I felt like I was on a rollercoaster, pushing my body forward, remembering to breathe in the quiet moments, making eye contact and connecting with the crowd.  I had no nerves but once I was in the line, counting down on full display I was completely engaged in the moment. Walking back was my only opportunity to see the show and so I savoured the moments of being able to see everyone else’s performance. We were being filmed, both professionally and unprofessionally during the entire show and so any moment were I sensed a lens I found myself pushing my performance even more. I had my eyes closed for every time I did the Love segment. Sure, Sea Change had given me confidence but not enough for me to come out of my tortoise shell and look at people while simulating sex. The final circuit I did I gave everything I thought I wouldn’t have the energy to give. And when it was down to the final performers we counted them down, cheering for them, Boris, Sea Change, MIF and Manchester. When we returned to Upper Campfield Market Boris and Florence (one of the dancers from Boris’ team and our costume designer) handed out flowers to all of us.

I had to escape to the bathroom to cry. I live up to the Cancerian horoscope stereotype and will cry at the drop of a hat but only because I feel things so deeply, and although I’m not ashamed of it can be embarrassing. No one should cry on their birthday but I had gone from celebrating my birthdays with my family to one of the biggest events of my life. The fact that it was all over was saddening but heart-warming. I had so many wonderful memories to look back on:  I got to meet new people, push myself, explore parts of Manchester I’d never seen before and I’d gained a new connection with my body that for the first time in a very long time made me feel 1000%. All of the fear I’d had during the past year and a half had been erased by Sea Change.

There were so many people who inspired me, and so I want to end this piece by thanking them, even if they never see this. I will misspell and forget some names but I have a Dory-like brain even at the best of times:

THANK YOU TO BORIS AND HIS TEAM: Boris, Magali, Florence, Gemma, Marion, Djino, Ilario, Thomasin, Estela, Neil, Claire, Leigh, and the professional dancers who stepped in (whose names I don’t know),

THANK YOU TO THE MIF, SEA CHANGE AND SECURITY TEAMS: Gareth, Kate, Antonia, Oscar, Ben, Matilda, Quiver (I'm 1000% sure I've misspelt that), Louise, Stephen, Maddie, Leigh, Susan, Jack, and Rob.

THANK YOU TO THE PARTICIPANTS FROM MY GROUP: Florence, Rachel, Clair, Max, Terry, Jake, Monika, Marina, Angie, Christina, Sue, Ayako, Ian, Paula and I know there are others but I’ve either forgotten their names or didn’t get the chance to hear them but I’m grateful they were apart of Sea Change.

THANK YOU TO THE PARTICIPANTS FROM OTHER GROUPS: Mohammed, Ceri, Meghan, Susan, Martin and Jill (who both participated with me in the interviews with BBC Radio Manchester). Because of social distance I wasn’t able to spend much time getting to speak to the other people in the different groups but I do know that they are each very special and incredible.

THANK YOU TO BBC RADIO MANCHESTER: For highlighting MIF & Sea Change and informing the public about it, thank you to Jen and Becky Want.

THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO CAUGHT OR CAME OUT TO SEE THE PERFORMANCE.

And, thank you, to you for reading all of this.