Hair Etiquette

I made the important decision to go back to my natural afro roots two years ago. I enjoyed having it straight , mixing with different styles but at some point I got too lazy and too tired of the rats nest of straight hair on my head that seemed to have an intense attitude problem with humidity or water as soon as I had straightened it. 

For me, my afro reminds me of the secret super power within a black person. My hair looks like a microphone and it seems to bewitch people into wanting to touch it, which, unless you are family, is a serious no no. I've had to explain to people that it's rude to touch without asking the same way you wouldn't just grab some other part of someone's body. So far in Manchester I've had five people pat/touch my hair. All times I've been so shocked that I've been speechless for about 10 seconds. The fifth time I had warned the person before hand not to touch it (and they'd been drunk and done it anyway) I walked off before I could slap them (because violence never solves anything and fighting someone who's handicapped through alcohol doesn't make it a fair fight anyway). After they had sobered up and apologised I found myself seriously considering covering up my hair for the first time in my life. 

 Yes, it looks fluffy (although it's rather course and thick) and yes, it retains moisture when it gets wet, and I have to wash it more than three times a week because if i'm around smokers or pollution the toxic scent tends to permeate out of my hair long after I'm indoors and it makes me uncomfortable to sleep with it. It takes about an hour to dry and thirty minutes to de-tangle all the knots and get it into it's gloriously spherical shape.  

My hair reminds me of my  70's heroes: Olive Morris, Angela Davis, Pam Grier, woman who remind me how powerful I can be and that I am a part of a beautiful, uplifting and empowering race. 

Since being in Manchester I've seen all different types of hairstyles and afros in different shapes and colours and it's made me so happy to see them all, it's reminded me that I'm on my own journey and that all the things that make up who I am are things that I'm proud of, but it also makes me feel self-conscious when my hair is touched by a stranger. It's a violation of my personal space and I've realised that a lot of people view my hair as something other, a curiosity that seems to call out to their grubby hands the way a bright shiny object calls out to crow. To touch the 'fro without permission is offensive but patting it is a thousand times worse. Not only does it mess up the shape (people have this strange idea that it just bounces back) and also it's just a derogatory action.

 My afro can tell you if I've just rolled out of bed (it's squashed to one side) or if I'm stressed (there's a side parting where I've run my fingers through it), or if I've manage to keep it all together (it's still round by the end of the night) and I'm looking forward to trying out head scarves with it and one day dying it with vegetable dye, but for now i'm very happy with the way it is as long as nobody touches it.